Sunday, January 4, 2009

To Solution Again

Lemme level with you: Kanga posts are hard to write.

Sure, I make it sound easy; just slap a few thoughts together with correct capitalization and no AIM lingo and BAM you got yourself a Kanga-bite. But alas poor Yorick, it is not that easy you skully man. First I have to actually FEEL like writing something, which I do 50% of the time. The other 50% of my life I just feel like chompin down some oreos and watching some reruns of Drake and Josh.

Take, for example, this post!

This post was supposed to be EPIC!! Since, yknow, it's a new year and blogs just need these "NEW YEAR POSTS!". But yknow what I got? I got this. This post you are reading right now is all I got. I had nothing awesome to say, no fun stories, no clever list of stuff. Just... a few paragraphs about my Kanga.

And this picture:

"Party like it's 1949!!! I miss Eisenhower..."

Google image result for "New Years Party".

At least right NOW I feel like writing (although I have nothing to write about) (BTW, is it considered writing if I'm typing this?). If I didn't feel like writing, this is how today's post would be:

I gotta tell ya man, Kanga posts are hard to make!

Yeah I make it sound easy, hahahahha, but it's not easy. It's really really difficult. Sometimes I'm like "alright, time to talk about AWESOME!", but sometimes I'm like "what? what do I do? what do I talk about? I'm tired I wanna sleep I'll go take a nap." And then I watch Drake and Josh.

For example, this post I have nothing to talk about.

It was supposed to be something big because it's 2009. But I dunno what to say. So I'll just say lalala. Lalala. Here's a picture of something. Wait nevermind I'm too lazy to find a picture.
Yup. I just really thought I should have SOMETHING for this new year.

Oh I know!

Resooooo...

wait for it...

LUTION!!

Resolution...
My goal is... to be awesomer. Yeah, I know that's a lame resolution, but YOU'RE A LAME RESOLUTION. WHAT NOW?! Okay my resolution will be to just outdo myself every year of my life. Like a life resolution. That seemed to be the trend for me these past few years, so why not continue it?! I'll top myself each year by... I dunno, making plans to do some craaazay stuff, then I can be all "aw yeah, this year was better than last year"!!

Resolution Option #2: Go crazy.

Oh I can make a list now...

Option#3: Make better Kanga posts
Option#4: START THAT WEBCOMIC.
Option#5: Get buff
Option#6: Be an awesome TrackField captain
Option#7: Make a new friend!
Option#8: Wear cooler clothes!!
Option#9: YELL IN SOMEONE'S FACE
Option#10: Inadvertently gain super human speed

OH OH OKAY, I got something new to b*tch slap you with. Just kidding, regular slap.

Antisolutions...
These are stuff I SHOULDN'T do:

Option#1: Miss an opportunity
Option#2: Let people be aware of when I fart (suffocate smell or sound!)
Option#3: Make fun of dead babies
Option#4: Endanger lives (including baby lives)
Option#5: Be depressed and or emo
Option#6: Avoid... stuff (like people. Not dangerous stuff, I should avoid that.)
Option#7: Start a band, especially if I'm the singer
Option#8: SLOUCH! BAD FOR BACK! GROW UP, YOU GET BACK PAIN, YOU WALK WITH CANE!! (YOU ALSO RHYME UNINTENTIONALLY!!!)
Option#9: Oh yeah, procrastinate

There's that list.

Okay I'm tired of posts related to the new year. Honestly, if you haven't posted it already, it's too late for the 2008-2009 transition to apply. Cmon, get on the ball. The New Year's ball.

Okay, gotta go graduate!

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