Thursday, August 28, 2008

Blue. Yellow. Black. Green. Red.

Doo... doo... Doo... doo...

Did you know the Olympic score was composed by John Williams? For a lack of better words, he would.

These past two weeks sure have been exciting. This is my very first time that I’ve actually been INTO the Olympics. Before, it was always “Oh it’s Olympic time again? Hm. The TV scheduling is gonna be way off..”. I could care less! (or couldn’t care less)

Okay the purpose of this post is just to say how much I love the Olympics. Who knew I’d be cheering for a men’s inside volleyball team or for some random guy from Africa in a kayaking competition?! I SURE DIDN’T KNOW! To be concise: Olympics are more entertaining and awesome than no Olympics.

Plus, we got Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt to watch!

Yknow what I also found that was really amusing were the commercials. With all that athletics and Morgan Freemans spiced around as themes, I found the ads to be on par with Super Bowl ones! Like that one that talked about how that guy jumped over that high jump bar backwards and everyone was like “whoa!”. I have no clue what it was advertising, probably Coca-cola because that’s all I got out of the advertisement, but it was still a really good commercial!

But back to the Olympics, I missed the track relays. OH GEE WELLS! I’ve seen running BEFORE, so I’m glad I saw all these other sports. Maybe four years from now I’ll be able to catch some fencing? OH it’s gonna be in London, huh?! 2012 Olympics?! Oh das coo. Maybe they’ll do swimming relays across the English channel.

It’s too bad the only time the countries seem to be at peace with one another is when we are competing against each other.

BUT YAY OLYMPICS! Okay I think I posted this 4 days too late for you to care.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Worth 1000 Words

15 minutes early. There was no one in line. I went straight up to the table and the elderly man greeted me there. Let's call the elderly man "Conrad" because he looked like a Conrad.

"You here for the picture?"



"Kevin Lam."

The standard "fill out yo info on dis paper!" followed, and after I handed Conrad my lovely enveloped check (which he ruthlessly ripped open), I was led to the seat where it would all happen. Momentous times like... this moment would usually make me nervous. It's my HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR PICTURE. One day, my potential wife and or girlfriend is gonna get a hold of my yearbook and look for my picture, then comment on how cute I was back then, and then I'd just be embarrassed on how dorky I looked and tell her to put the book away, and then she'd laugh and compliment on something else about the picture that's not very flattering, and then I'd get fake angry, and then she'd laugh some more and put the book away! Or at least that's how the movies roll, but I mean how different is a movie from real life?! See, now you understand how important this picture is.

...But actually I wasn't nervous. Even though my haircut was quite unchoice (I got short bangs! that's SO not the fashionable emo punk rock style that's cool with the hip kids!!) I figure that yeah, I want to look my best, but this is just a PICTURE, and a picture is always temporary. It just captures me at the MOMENT, and if I looked like a handsome asthmatic hobo on the verge of giving birth, then so be it! It's how I looked today, and as long as I look my best with minimal effort, it's fine. If I spent hours to look like a sexy, non-gay Ambercrombie model, then it would be much more accurate, but that's not how I ALWAYS look! No need to capitalize on a permanent teenage look when I don't even really have one. (I swear, my hair transforms every time I go to Great Clips.)



I was sitting on the seat and Conrad positioned my body in an awkward manner, thankfully nowhere near the posture of an Imagix victim (although it would've been nice to have a Senior picture with a giant Tootsie Roll and a Mickey Mouse glove on my hand). Conrad got behind his camera and put his hand up. Then he happily gave me an order:

"Say 'girls'!.."



"Eh... what?", I thought. What what what? That picture probably had me confused like a panda in Africa. I hoped that was a practice shot.

"Say 'girls'! You know what they are, right?"

"Yeah, eh heh heh... girls..?"


This time my face was classified along the lines of "confused as hell" and "what da eff". Why was he making me say "girls"?! Shouldn't it be "cheese"? Because "cheese" creates a smile, right? The word "girl" just sort of... creates a wobbly "O" mouth, which coupled with my bewildered expression, could result in a senior picture with a constipated Kevin. Maybe Conrad didn't know how to say "cheese"? And he tought "girl" was the right word? Or maybe he just wanted to mess with me. That jerk. (Just kidding Conrad is cool.)

"Okay, now say 'money'!"

That's more like it!



Conrad's commands to Origami my mouth in formations totally threw me off. Like any reasonable person, I was working on my smiles all morning. I boiled it down to 4 expressions: Regular smile, Regular smile happy-brows, Tall smile, Tall smile happy-brows. I got them down! I was totally ready for my picture! Limelight away! I was prepared! Well... for an easy pitch, that is. Not for this Conradical curve ball.

"Alright, which one do you like more, girls or money?"




"ah hah!.."


I walked away a bit shaken at what just happened. It was the weirdest, confusingest, awkwardest, and funniest photo shoot I've ever had. Oh, and it's also my very last high school one. Good thing my senior picture shoot was also the awesomest!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

First they're sour. Then they're sweet.


I've reached a three pronged fork in my Kanga writing. Do I talk about Warped? Do I babble on about my last day of work? Or do I sidenote the party-esque-ness at Tammy’s a few days ago? OR, do I add a prong and not talk about any of that?! FIRST TIME KUBU FOR NEW KANGA.

And in the end I decide to talk about my last day of work. I’d bore you with reasons on how I came to that decision, but I’ll just say I won’t in this one sentence.

Here we go!

Oh wait a minute, there isn’t much to talk about. My last day of teaching was actually my easiest! Usually I have to manage around twenty little kids in a large classroom through various yells and chokeholds, but on my last day (Thursday, August 21st, for all you stalkers), I managed around SIX little kids with no need for any wrestling move application! Half of the class was in homework room, I think, while others were crocheting. Then a portion of them were at Who-Knows-Where... which subtracts down to six!

Alright actually, half way into the hour, four of them went to go crochet (also pronounced “crotch-it”) too... so I only had to watch two kids. One of the kids was that Kevin guy I mentioned in an earlier post, he thought crocheting was girly. BOYZ REPRESENT! But I let the others leave my class because all we did was play Pictionary which very quickly ran out of interest. If you didn’t know already, the classes at Quest Learning center are set up VERY loosely (See: Class of 20 to class of 6 example).

Later on, Kathleen came to my room. She’s the girl I also mentioned earlier who I called Sharon/Booger. She apologized (again) for acting like a rapidly deflating balloon on steroids two weeks earlier (not a direct quote), and then she handed me a nice drawing of a superhero that she drew (pictured above). AAAWWWW! Twas so nice!

More often than not, I find little things in my life that symbolize whatever just happened to me. Doing this can make moments feel mucho mas awesome, but when I think about it, I feel like school has brainwashed me and forced me to analyze everything in my world right down to the shape of my boogers. I HAVEN’T THOUGH! I usually get ambiguous spheres anyway. Pretty insignificant. But this superhero drawing that Kathleen handed me meant a lot. I felt like it represented my whole experience at Quest into one nice compact piece of paper: Most of the time it was a nightmare trying to staple down the kids to their seats (like Kathleen), but once in a while, something nice and sweet happened that seemed to counterbalance all the bad.

It's sorta like taking care of the Sour Patch Kids.

Quick sumsum of students!:

5th 6th: Jeff likes to talk, Nathan is emotional? and draws at the piano, Kameron is loud, David never finished his story, Jesse isn’t there a lot, Charlie is scary, Grace is funny (and has a boyfwend?!), Benjamin looks like Joey, Jaime is weird, Kamran has a lot of attitude, Katherine is very crazy, Sidney is sweet, Swati follows her friends a lot, Jonathan is well-behaved, Jessica is also sweet and one time whiny, Priscilla is also well-behaved, Ashley is constantly hyper but draws awesome comics... anyone else?

3rd 4th: Cade is bizarre, John is cool, Kevin is confident(?), Alex is bored, Matthew is touchy, Rachel is diligent, Allison is quirky, Shannon smiles a lot but never draws, Melanie is fun and really cool, Tiffany has a cousin that looks like me, Haylee is considerate, Kathleen is (see above), Eddy looks tough, Meet looks scrawny, Brandon hates authority, Andy is mysterious... anyone else?

I’m sure my mom or my sister will fill me in if I missed any kids.



My favorite comic from Comic Class. Comic Topic: Sam and the Rabbit:

Click pic to enlarge

It’s just so wonderfully done! Every time I read it I laugh. I swear, if I loved it anymore, I’d frame it up on my wall. It’s that good.

But enough about that! YAY NO MORE WORK! After those two months of steam rolling kids into submission, I’d be hard pressed to find any group more challenging to manage.

...Dear Life, PLEASE don't take me up on that challenge.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Busy Off The Hizzy (sadly that rhymes)


WELL FOR me anyway. It's the last week of my Comic Class at Quest Learning Center and I have to use the kids' comics to make TWO comic books! That's a lot of work. In the wise words of that one robot guy from Might Morphin (I forgot his name), AY AY AY AY AY AY!

But in other news, if I didn't throw this in your face already,





It's for a scholarship at, here's the actual link:

If you vote for me, you will get $1000. Probably. And PLEASE vote everyday so we can beat the Latina girl who's first. Most votes wins $2,500, and I need the money!


I'll walk about Warped Tour later (maybe I'll let Craig and Alex do some of the report).

But in more other news,


Friday, August 15, 2008

Post Corto

Today I was driving with my windows down (like usual). I was stopped at a light when a hispanic lady in a car next to me rolled down the window and asked "Dónde está... eh... where... where is the 91 East freeway?". I thought for a few seconds and realized I only knew where the 91 West was, not the 91 East (me and my nooby boobiness), so I replied "No sorry, I don't know... no sé..".

The light turned green and I drove away.

Ysee, I don't know how to react to this. Was that funny? Me replying in spanish? I almost burst out laughing as I turned into my neighborhood... but then it was also kinda embarrassing. Why the heck did I speak in spanish?! I was so confused.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I hope parenting's not like this.

That. Was very scary.


Like I've said a bajillion times before, I've been working at this one teaching center called "Quest Learning Center". I teach how to make comics to grades ranging from 3rd to 6th, and today I had SOME KIND OF EXPERIENCE...

Today I had 3rd and 4th graders. My lesson plan had the students working in groups on separate comic stories, but one of the guys did not have a group. His name is Cade. Cade is a very interesting character in that... I feel like not all of his brain is there. He's missing that "respect authority" and the "don't misbehave" lobes in his cranium, plus he's just a very weird child, so Cade is definitely a handful. Yesterday I distracted his insanity by having him draw ninja cats and ninja dogs, but today I had a tiny bit more trouble. I sat him in the front, but he just kept on walking to the back to try to work with another group of boys. Time after time I would yell across the room to tell him to sit back down, and he would listen half the time.

It got to the point where I was writing his name on the board as a second warning, but by this time it was too late. Cade was in the back of the room and for whatever reason, he started yelling at this one boy named Kevin (haha) in that group! My head was all "OH NO YOU DON'T!", and my voice was all "CADE!", but as soon as I finished yelling his name, Cade had pushed Kevin, Kevin swung his arm back in attempt to hit Cade, but he looked up and saw me and resisted his attack. I walked over there (or ran very slowly and efficiently) as Cade was just SCREAMING at the top of his lungs at these boys (mainly Kevin). Ysee, Cade and Kevin have this thing where they just REALLY don't get along. Almost every class they're bickering about something. I am so lucky there was a table between the two boys. I think.

Back to the story... Cade screamin, Kevin almost hitting... so I run back there and I'm like "CADE! Calm down!", which I guess sounded kinda ironic. "CADE, calm down calm DOWN... CADE stop it... calm dow- CADE calm down..." But whatever I said to this kid, he just kept on screaming his head off! Now I ask you, lovely oddience, what would YOU do in such a situation? Because at that point, I honestly had no clue. I was panicking so much on the inside, but outside I was just "Cad- CADE. CALM down... calm down..". I got him to stop for a few seconds, but then he just went back to "NOOOO! NOOOO!!!". (I think that's all he was yelling, just "no". Man, it was the pitch of a freakin' Pterodactyl.) I guess I could've picked him up and moved him elsewhere, but I was afriad he would explode or something. He could've been a bomb with alarms in the form of screams!

If I tried this, Cade would've eaten this chair.

Now the group of guys receiving the ambush of anger decided to start moving. They began to walk towards the other end of the table near the corner of the room to get away from crazy Cade. Cade, of course, began to follow them. I, of course, began to follow Cade. My incessant commands to Cade, of course, began to follow my steps. Suddenly all of us had walked to a point where there was no table between the boys and Cade! If I was thinking of something more than "calm down", I would've probably thought "OH SNAP YOU BETTER NOT JUMP ON THEM!". And, well, he didn't.

The boys began to walk back to their original spot, but Cade was stuck in the corner. Then he made a run for them. THAT was my chance. THERE was my reason to submissify this fool to no end. I grabbed his arms, stopping him in his tracks, and just nailed him with "Cade Calm-Downs". He began to struggle and I was all "OH NO DON'T STRUGGLE", but then I thought about for a sec and remembered... I'm way stronger than this guy. So I held my grip until Cade just stood there. After a few more yells at the boys, he just stopped and stood there. (Just to let you know, Kevin was being super annoying because he basically kept on provoking Cade with stuff like "Cade you're dumb I hate you" or something to that extent.)

So there was Cade. There was I. Right in the middle of nothingness to the side of the room, I was holding his crossed arms as we just stood. "I'm not gonna let go until you calm down." I looked up and most of the other kids were watching. I looked at the doorway and my boss was standing there (HAHA). I looked back down at Cade. I was in a VERY horrible position, not because of the whole boss-at-door thing, but because Cade could SO have easily kneed me in the crotch in front of a class of 3rd and 4th graders. I could've sworn he was tempted to. THANK GOD HE DIDN'T.

"I'm gonna let go and I want you sit in your seat, okay?" He nodded ever so slightly, I let go, he sat in his seat, put his head down, and I sighed the biggest sigh of relief I've ever relieved myself to sigh. I could tell I was blushing red too. But my journey was not done! Oh no! I walked over to the door to talk to Mr. Johnny, my boss. He actually was not there for Cade!

Next to him was a little girl, a girl that came to my class that misbehaved like some kind of chicken on steroids (I heard that steroidical chicken is pretty hard to manage). Mr. Johnny said she, Sharon (I called her booger last week), wanted to apologize. "Oh," I was astonished. I looked at her, and avoiding eye contact, she said something like "I'm sorry, Mr. K". Again, I had no idea what to do. "I forgive you" would be too... short and concise... for such a dramatic scene! And it was not that easy to forgive her. She ran in and out of the room, plus she hit me (but yknow, girly hits). I asked her "You're sorry for last week?.." and she replied with a quiet "Yeah..". I paused with nothing else to say. I caved in, "Oh it's okay, I forgive you then..". I was pretty pressured though! Not only was Mr. Johnny watching, but so was this random white woman from behind Sharon, I think that was her mother or something. I REALLY wished I had something better to say, like "I'll only forgive you if you show me a smile!" (cuz she looked pretty depressed), or "I forgive you... and if you don't behave like that again, HERE'S CANDY!". Dangit. I have to think faster.

ALRIGHT! Now just imagine, ALL THAT happened within 5-10 minutes. Boy was that absurd.

If you're yearning for an epilogue: I told the boys in da back to not acknowledge that Cade was in the room, ignore him completely, don't say his name, don't provoke him whatsoever. "If you so much as say Cade's name, you get your name on the board." (Kevin, of course, kept on insisting Cade was totally stopping them from making their group comic. I told Kevin to shove it. HAHA just kidding. Could you imagine though.) As for Cade, he remained in his seat... until the last 10 minutes of class when he started to go to the group of boys in the back again. LUCKILY he didn't scream like a dying rooster, but I had to keep on bringing him back to the front still. The beast was tamed, I had control again, and everything... ended fine.

Oh, and P.S., then this dude named Alex said he "hated Comic Class". How do I respond to that? I guess I should've felt really sad or whatever, but I just felt REALLY BAD that I couldn't entertain him with comic production. So yeah, that's just a side note.

IN HAPPIER NEWS, these two girls actually finished their comic! Correctly. YES that's one.

In any case, I am so glad I get paid for this. Hehe.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

To Answer "Whatsup?":

I should've updated my Kanga earlier. BUT I DIDN'T! Oh no! Not only did I not really feel like it, and not only did I have to work on scholarship stuff, and not only was I not in Kanga moods, but I just liked my last post so much that I didn't wanna move it down from the top! Is that weird? No, you're weird, so stop it.

But now I must spill my thoughts! Onto your shirt! And then you'll get angry! But I don't care! Because I'll have another Kanga post done! Alright...

ME AND XC ARE BACK IN BUSINESS! It charges 80% interest.

Monday - My first Monday practice. Finally. I felt awesomely good on this run! Man, I was running so well, I was on such a roll. More so than a Fruit Roll-Up in an egg roll in a giant snowball rolling down a mountain that's reading lines for its role in a new movie. So that's a pretty good roll! I was in front like a quarter of the time! THAT NEVER HAPPENS! Oh, and then near the end I got a really bad cramp.

Tuesday - Another long run... The Mardquardt 7... my legs got so mega mundo tired from the day before. I wasn't on a roll. Imagine the Fruit Roll-Up flattened out in the half eaten egg roll in a puddle of water that got fired from its new role in the new movie. That was me.

Wednesday - Another good day like Monday! We went to Fullerton and ran circuits around some hilly place with a bunch of rabbits. It was a rabbitat. And then afterward! Rite Aid! Love it!

If you were wondering, AND I KNOW YOU WERE, I had to dish out all my XC news before the meet tomorrow! GAHR TWO MILER ROUND TWO! Be there or be a fatty.

And in other news, I went to Hannah's art show the other day. My favorite piece was the one with cheese and crackers! Actually that wasn't an art piece. That was just the free cheese and crackers I ate. They were delicious...

But good job, Hannah! This is me proud of you and your art!: [Picture of me really proud] You and your now greater peripheral vision eyes should have so gotten first place. Oh well! Guitar Heroes and Mac Books are fun.

THE END! Sorry no pictures. I should put more pictures. If you want more too, I say just imagine these patterns of letters and words as one giant awesome picture!.. that you can read! Yeah... do that...

Friday, August 8, 2008

Art thou finished?

I am happy. Do you know why? Because I am...

Done done done done done WITH ART CLASS!


Don't get me wrong, I love my art, I love my graphites and inks and charcoals and matte sprays in dozens of non-drugular ways. But this art class at Cerritos College - Mon-Thur 5:45pm-10:00pm - really sucked up a lot of my time. It was incredibly energy draining, AND, I had to miss so many cross country practices! Why would I spend 4 hours sitting in one spot when I could spend 2 hours running around everywhere? Random guy: "I don't know!". Yeah, well me neither.

But I am done! And I am elated! No more Lee's Sandwiches 4 nights a week.

Yesterday was my last day, and I have to say it was the BEST art class day ever! Why? All I did was sit and eat. POTLUCK WITH ART STUDENTS YEAH! I literally ate some of everything and the girl behind me didn't eat anything! CRAZY.

Whenever I go to potlucks, there's always that one person who brings their awesome "Homemade whathaveyou!", and that's usually the best stuff. But honestly, all the food was delicious. Rice stuff, tamale stuff, potato wedge stuff, date stuff, cookie and chip stuff... I tried really hard not to snicker when I saw the only haram whip out a bucket of fried chicken. HEE...

But I digress.

Now if there was anything I learned from that class, I learned how to look like one badass artist. For my younger viewers, I'll replace that word with "hardcore". GET READY TO LEARN.

How To Look Like One Hardcore Artist (while you're drawing and people are watching you):

1 - Wear a hat.
First and foremost, you will receive a very mysterious look with a hat. What's under that hat? Why is he wearing one? Is he trying to conceal his brain power? What does his hair look like? Wearing hats also let you display your uniquosity. Whether it be a sombrero or a beret, people will look at you and say "Oh suhnap. This person has one more piece of clothing than I do; AND IT'S ON HIS HEAD! He must be good at art." Note to you, if you wear a cap, don't wear it backwards, wear it normally. Backwards caps for are for punks who grew up in the 90's, but forward caps shadow the face.

2 - Have a water bottle.
Who usually has water bottles? Hardcore athletes, that's who. If you have a water bottle while you're drawing, you're pretty much saying that your art is so intense that if a referee were here, he'd be calling fouls left and right. You sweat, you cringe, you grow so physically tired from producing masterpieces that it is necessary to have a water bottle at hand to soothe any extreme challenges. A good time to drink the actual water is when you want to take a break and pause to look at the composition of your piece. However, be sure to keep your eyes on your paper when you tilt your head to loudly gulp that energy liquid. It will look like your breaks aren't even break, they're just speed bumps that don't affect your monster truck brain.

3 - Use an electric... anything.
Honestly, to separate a pro from a noob, get some electric equipment. Don't over do it though, maybe like an electric eraser and electric mini vacuum (to clean up the electrified eraser lint) at the most. This would show that you are not the average consumer, you are not some silly nilly who gets all his pencils from the ground at school. No, it shows you go to some hidden (probably illegal) store to purchase an obscure eraser for fifty bones, custom made to fit your hand and encrusted with 2 ounces of pure emerald. This may not be true, but that's what an electrical utensil will do to people. It will make people believe you are one hardcore artist. Besides, if Wikipedia serves me right, I believe Leonardo da Vinci once used a steam powered ruler.

4 - Stand when there's a chair.
There is a table. There is a chair. You are about to begin your piece. Do you sit down? NO. That's what they expect you to do. People will always have expectations as to what is going to happen. If you keep them guessing what the heck your next action is, well then they'd just be constantly flabbergasted! "Oh, he's gonna start... now he's just gonna sit dow- WHAT?! HIS BUTT NEEDS NO CUSHION?! That was not on the agenda! This guy is hardcore. I am intrigued..." If your legs get tired, unfortunately you just have to suck it up to retain your hardcore image.

YUP! So now you know how to look awesome. Now the second part of actually BEING a hardcore artist is to have breathtaking pieces... but there are not really any instructions for that. At least you know how to look like one! So go ahead and draw weird airplanes that accidentally look like penguins, people will initially be taken back by your hat, water bottle, electricity, and chair-lacking, and the first impression is all that matters!

Yay no more art class.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Clowning Around





Veronichou got some free tickets so I went with her and Jandondo to Honda Stadium to watch the ol' Ringling Bros. Speaking of which, did you know that Honda had its own stadium? I've been there before, but I just now realized that it's Honda's baby. Interesting...

Thinking of the circus and all of its craziness, I would expect to have a BAJILLION things to talk about on my Kanga! Or at least lots of interesting stuff. But kevinly, there isn't a whole lot to say about the show. I could go through each act thingy one by one, but you didn't really watch the whole show (unless you are Jan or Veronica or someone who watched it too), so it would be far less compelling next to the actual thing.

SO! To spark your interest better than a... spark creator, I will say random stuff about circuses. Circi. Surkeye. Think of this as Circus Fun Facts.
  • Elephants are huge
  • Elephants always poop
  • Clowns aren't as scary anymore (but now they have no respect for authority)
  • People can spin a lot and not get dizzy
  • Ringmasters are terrible at keeping track of their hats
  • Bubbles come out of trash cans
  • Tight rope walking has evolved to tight rope biking
  • Tigers are scary
  • People are generally amazed by dogs catching Frisbees (I am one of those people)
  • 9 motorcycles can fit in one ball cage
  • 9 motorcycles can drive around in one ball cage
  • 0 motorcyclists die
  • Horses have the ability to run in circles
  • Popcorn is a $7 rip off
  • Goats can stand on top of pigs
On second thought... how the heck would that have sparked your interested.

In any case, fun times.