Lookin' Jolly

Ycows... I never thought I'd be so self-conscious about my cheeks.

Yeah, wisdom teeth surgery made my cheeks bigger than if I taped two ribbeting bullfrogs to my face. But that shouldn't bother me! I'm Kevin after all! KEVIN LAM! KEVIO LAMIO! I'm rarely aware of what I'm wearing on a day-to-day basis, so why should I worry about my cheeks being bigger than a hot air balloon over a nuclear explosion? (That's large, right?)

Well it did bother me. Throughout the whole day I felt like I was subconciously screaming "LOOK AT MY FATTY FAT FAT CHEEKS, EVERYONE! FAAAAAT CHEEKS".

Although it bothered me more than Harry and Ron, I was luckily not bothered by others. I know everyone from here to Malaysia noticed my cheeks were chubbier than a babboon's butt injected with 12 gallons of helium, but only a few people actually pointed it out. Sometimes I'd just be waiting for someone to say "heyyy... you, cheeks, heyo!", or something meaner like "Hi hi hi. Hehe, I was just saying hi to you and your two new friends there. YO CHEEKS ARE HUGE!". But I only got a FEW "oh... oh your... wisdom teeth HEY... hehe".

This just in! Cheeks is a cute word. HAHA.

If it's any consolation, every time I see myself in the mirror, I start laughing. I just look so silly. It's like I'm holding two tennis balls in my mouth. Hey yknow what! The bottom of my face makes a perfect semi-circle!


I don't know how I can use this fact to my advantage. I was thinking maybe I could now use a bowl as a mask... but I'm not sure why I'd want a bowl as a mask.

So school went okay, especially cuz it was only half a day. BUT THEN! Monday means I had to go to work! AT QUEST!! Oh no!

I oversee a room full of little children! Could you imagine how they would make fun of my "9th planet"-sized cheeks?! I could certainly imagine. When I walk into that classroom of 10+ crazy kids, here's how I imagined what would happen.

Situation A:

(Kevin walks into classroom secretly)

Eddie: Hey Mr. K, I need help with my homework!

K: Okay.

Eddie: (sees cheeks) whooaaa what's wrong with your face?

K: My face? I just got my wisdom teeth pulled out.

Eddie: You look like a chipmunk.

Meet: Mr. K? Lemme see!

K: Meet do your work!..

Meet: Hahahaha, you're like a hamster.

Class: HAHAHAHHAHA MR. K LOOKS SOOOO RIDICULOUS!!

K: I'm ssooOOOooo embaaRRRrrraasseedd!

And that's what I imagined would happen. (I dunno why it's Eddie and Meet who did the talking.) Those kids and their pointing-stuff-out-ness! So either THAT would happen, ORRR, my boss Mr. Johnny would stop me before I even entered the classroom.

Situation B:

Johnny: "Uh... Kevin, if you go in that room with those bigass cheeks of yours, those kids are gonna make fun of you till dawn. Hey, even I had to stop myself from comparing your face to a humpback whale. So yknow what, why don't you just stay and work in the office, I'll give you some pencils to sharpen there."

I probably would've preferred situation B.

"But" again, but none of that happened! I entered the classroom and those lil munchkins didn't say a thing. I don't think a single child even really noticed my extra face blubber. Those kids and their lack-of-observent-ness!

In all in, my day was alright. Less cheeky than I had expected, and that's fine with me.

This just in! I shaved just now. It took me twice as long. HAHA just kidding.

My Wisdom Teeth and Me!

If you didn't hear the news, HERE IT COMES:

I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday! HOORAH!

All four of them.

So yeah, yesterday was pretty torturous. I couldn't eat ANYTHING all day, I just sipped some water here and there. Man I was hungrier than someone who's really really hungry. Oh it just so happened that soccer girls were giving each other gifts, so there were DONUTS EVERYWHERE!!! You know I can't resist those delicious rings of fattiness. But yesterday, I had to. There was even one point in English class where Soomin was like "I can't eat this, does anyone want my donuts?". NO ONE TOOK IT! I WOULD'VE, BUT I COULDN'T!! I just had to drink my lil water...

Luckily I avoided food during lunch time to take a free art lesson by an alumni in the art room. HEADS UP, if I'm not there during lunch on Friday, I'll be in the art room.

ANYWAY, at around 2 o'clock I found myself in a chair in the dentist office ready to be surgerized. There were three nurses standing around me waiting for the doctor to come in, and they were chatting about something something paying bills something. There were a couple moments of loooong awkward silences, and I really wanted to bust out laughing, but they'd have thought I was crrAAaaazy if I did.

I fell asleep waiting for the doctor, but 10 minutes later he came in and was all "Hey Kevin, you ready?". "Yeeeh..." I mumbled. One of the nurses sprayed my arm with what felt like Superman ice breath, and then they injected me with a shot. "Now you're just gonna take a nice little nap..." Dr. K said. Yes, his name was Dr. K-something.

"Okay..." I said.

I sat there for 10 seconds just waiting for my body to shut down. Then my head got really... warm... like someone spilled hot chocolate on my brain.

Then I was out.

The next thing I remember I was stumbling around a hall... and then I was in a parking lot, someone was helping me walk... I thought it was Dr. K but it was probably my dad. I remember being in the car trying to say something to my dad as he drove me home, but I kept on ending with a "...nevermindi'lltellyoulater..." because I could barely understand what I was saying.

I remember stumbling through the garage into my house, then somehow I turned my computer on. I don't know how. And yknow how when they do surgery stuff on you, they inject all this novacaine and booze in you to make you a little high? Well what followed was one of my funniest recordings ever with my webcam...

Kevin Without Wisdom
(subtitled, the best I could, for your convenience. REMEMBER I WAS DRUGGED!)

I honestly don't remember recording most of this. I just remember saying "loooopy", but that's about it. There are actually two more videos of me like this (one includes me singing), but maybe I'll upload em later, I'm too lazy to subtitle all of it.

Now after this I took a nap.

Warnin': DON'T READ THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN YOUR WISOM TEETH TAKEN OUT YET:

(I don't want people to know about the pain. Yet. MUAHAHHAHA)

I woke up and I was in so much pain. It was so bad I could use a big word and describe it as EXCRUCIATING! I wished I had a stress ball so I could squeeze it, or maybe just a tiny chick, that woulda been fine too. I felt like a tiger was chewing my jaw off, which, now that I think about it, is kinda ironic. Then I realized my dad got me my pain killers! So I took one of them and waited a little bit, BUT THEY DIDN'T HELP! Turns out I just took the antibiotics, the pain killers were in another bottle... so then I took some of them REAL pain killers and felt a wee better after a little nap.

Okay keep on reading from here:

And that was basically it. I ate some juk(?) for dinner. Then I slept at like 9 till morning, waking up every couple hours to replace the gauze things in my mouth. I bled a lot. BTW, this is the time when parents are really awesome. When you're physically dying, they're there to help you! YAY POSITIVE THINKING!

Now begins the healing process and YES my cheeks DID get puffy! You know what that means? I can receive TWO kisses on my cheek at the same time! FANTASTIC!! Or maybe just one kiss from a girl with a really big mouth.

STOP! 'bama time!

Hey Obama's president now! The only president who... for a lack of a clever remark, is black. I forgot which teacher said to remember this day cuz it's very historical. So this post is for me to remember.

Uh...

Inauguration!

Fuzzy screen...

Saw it twice!

Obama's in every room!

Ate Garden Salsa Sun Chips... very good...

Actually I'm kinda hungry right now.

I already brushed my teeth though, darnit.

Oh well I should go sleep.

Gnight!

Sometimes I have dreams too.

White man look lame, black man look tight!
I shouldn't be updating My Kanga right now. Why? Because I have so much to do! And at the same time I have NOTHING TO DO. These moments in my life sure are perplexin'. LIKE YO MOMMA sorry insult spasm.

Now before I get down to business, I'll distract you with some other business. It's not poop.

Today was fun! Adventure!

Mini-pre-adventure: Lowes with Jane. I have no idea how we got there. Oh well, tubs and toilets.

Adventure Mission: WATCH A MOVIE!

1. With Craig Darren Paul...
2. Plan A: "LET'S WATCH PAUL BLART: MALL COP IN TOWN CENTER AT 12:30!" "AITE, QUALITY MOVIE RIGHT THERE!"
3. Get there at 12:45, turns out the movie started at 12:10...
4. Plan B: Go to Long Beach TC to watch Mall Cop at 1:30. Okay, we got time, totally do-able.
5. Darren drives freeway and takes us in the wrong direction.
6. We end up in Anaheim.
7. BACKTRACK to Cerritos TC, then take the RIGHT freeway to LBTC.
8. Darren misses the exit.
9. We get off at El Dorado park, drive all the way around that park, and finally reach our Plan B destination.
10. We get there at 1:40, turns out the movie is sold out until 2:50.
11. We can't watch the movie that late so we go to...
12. Plan C: Party at In-N-Out
13. Meet Taylor, get all fat, then drive back to Craig's house.
14. Play Gears of War 2 (FUNAWESOME with blood!), play Apples to Apples (FUNAWESOME without blood!), Watch Snakes on a Plane (with blood!).

Mission, for the most part, accomplished!

Life can never have too many adventures! Unless you're INDIANA JONES. GOOD GOD MAN, you're in your 60's! You gotta know when to retire!

Alright so if you didn't know, it's a tradition that I take a quiz thingy every Martin Luther King day. Why? I don't know. I'm the only one who knows about it anyway. I think last year I did "Which Superhero Are You?" I got Superman. Another time another quiz I got Luke Skywalker. THIS TIME IT'LL BE...

I AM
69%
JAZZTake the Transformers Quiz
Oh sweet that's cool. WAIT HE DIES IN THE MOVIE, DOESN'T HE?! Not cool, man. Oh well, he does spins and break dancey stuff.

I think that's all I have to type. OH FORMAL I still haven't talked about that! NEXT TIME I will so I don't forget about it. But for now... I really need to cut my nails.

Happy MLK Day.

Fine, how was yours?

3 things about today.

#1
I totally went to the post office to send my portfolio to LMU. You can't get much more adult than a post office!! That wasn't sarcasm! I'm on my way from awesome kid Kevin to awesome YOUNG ADULT KEVIN! I've been post-officing and grocery shopping, now all I have to do is get drunk with some colleagues and file some taxes! EXCITING!!!

#2
Today at school, there was a guest speaker who was a videographer, and web/graphic designer (Shannon Acevado if you were wondering). I sat in to hear her speech during the one hour lunch and it was SO, to use it again, AWESOME! All this talk about freelancin' and art and business is SO, to use "to use it again" again, EXCITING!! ...and then for contemporary media I heard the exact same speech. Again. It's like if you watched an episode of Lost twice: there aren't really any surprises so you start to imagine how Locke would look with hair. Long, wavy hair.

#3
I'M SICK! People who might've made me sick:
1-Veronica
2-Jaydee
3-My mom / dad / sister

Yknow how everything usually sucks when you're sick? Well today was a bit different! I felt really sslllooowww toooddaayyy... like that one comic with The Flash when he fights The Turtle, The Slowest Man Alive. Ysee, The Turtle got the ability to slowwww down time, so The Flash really had no powers because he could only move as fast as a regular person. Long story short, The Flash defeats him. While all this is happening, cars have been crashing and flying in the air (but for the scarlet speedster, they're just suspended in the air), so The Flash fixes the scene SO FAST that no one actually realizes it. It all happens within a fraction of a second. He explains:

"The Turtle is out and so is all the kinetic energy he took... Updrafts will help me lower the cars to the ground. I go the extra mile and fix them. Even change the oil. Just because I can."

HAHAWESOME.

But I progress.

So anyway, today I felt really slow. But that turned out to be a good thing because I just finished studying civics (YES, AND IT'S NOT EVEN 10:00 YET), and I'm appreciating the songs on my iPod now. I'm sure that's somehow related. In any case, I just feel very satisfied with myself.

Oh and I totally shared some food with three people cuz I forgot I was sick. Ehm, hannahkristinadarren... sorry! But if you get sick within the next few days, you know where it came from! YAY!


Bonus:
#4
Done with english project SWEET!

Good ol' reporter!

And on a note unrelated to formal...

Civics Project Satire Video YAY!

America for Immigrants

OOGLEY BOOGLEY

Current random thoughts:

I had to redo a lost assignment for English. LAME WITH A CAPITAL LAME!

I'm tired but don't wanna sleep. Sometimes I'm not tired but want to sleep. Life is unfair. (to be said in emo voice)

Tomorrow is formal and I feel like I should know more about what's happening.

I got no comments for my last post.

Monday was the first time I remember using a mirror to look at my clothes in the morning before school. I usually just look down.

Being track captain is a new experience. THEY'RE JUDGING ME!

Speaking of which, I totally lost muscles. I overworked them and then they disappeared.

I should make less posts like this one.

WHOA random story.

Did anyone watch Full House? Well I remember this one episode where Jesse hooked up with this woman, but it was for a stupid reason or something. And then father Danny was like "I don't think Jesse is in love with her. I think he just fell in love with love". Something like that. But yeah! He fell in love with the idea of BEING in love, not in love with the actual girl. I think about that once in a while because I thought it was really trippy as a kid and I hoped that wouldn't happen to me.

This isn't really related to anything btw. Just sayin'.

To Solution Again

Lemme level with you: Kanga posts are hard to write.

Sure, I make it sound easy; just slap a few thoughts together with correct capitalization and no AIM lingo and BAM you got yourself a Kanga-bite. But alas poor Yorick, it is not that easy you skully man. First I have to actually FEEL like writing something, which I do 50% of the time. The other 50% of my life I just feel like chompin down some oreos and watching some reruns of Drake and Josh.

Take, for example, this post!

This post was supposed to be EPIC!! Since, yknow, it's a new year and blogs just need these "NEW YEAR POSTS!". But yknow what I got? I got this. This post you are reading right now is all I got. I had nothing awesome to say, no fun stories, no clever list of stuff. Just... a few paragraphs about my Kanga.

And this picture:

"Party like it's 1949!!! I miss Eisenhower..."
Google image result for "New Years Party".

At least right NOW I feel like writing (although I have nothing to write about) (BTW, is it considered writing if I'm typing this?). If I didn't feel like writing, this is how today's post would be:

I gotta tell ya man, Kanga posts are hard to make!

Yeah I make it sound easy, hahahahha, but it's not easy. It's really really difficult. Sometimes I'm like "alright, time to talk about AWESOME!", but sometimes I'm like "what? what do I do? what do I talk about? I'm tired I wanna sleep I'll go take a nap." And then I watch Drake and Josh.

For example, this post I have nothing to talk about.

It was supposed to be something big because it's 2009. But I dunno what to say. So I'll just say lalala. Lalala. Here's a picture of something. Wait nevermind I'm too lazy to find a picture.

Yup. I just really thought I should have SOMETHING for this new year.

Oh I know!

Resooooo...

wait for it...

LUTION!!

Resolution...
My goal is... to be awesomer. Yeah, I know that's a lame resolution, but YOU'RE A LAME RESOLUTION. WHAT NOW?! Okay my resolution will be to just outdo myself every year of my life. Like a life resolution. That seemed to be the trend for me these past few years, so why not continue it?! I'll top myself each year by... I dunno, making plans to do some craaazay stuff, then I can be all "aw yeah, this year was better than last year"!!

Resolution Option #2: Go crazy.

Oh I can make a list now...

Option#3: Make better Kanga posts
Option#4: START THAT WEBCOMIC.
Option#5: Get buff
Option#6: Be an awesome TrackField captain
Option#7: Make a new friend!
Option#8: Wear cooler clothes!!
Option#9: YELL IN SOMEONE'S FACE
Option#10: Inadvertently gain super human speed

OH OH OKAY, I got something new to b*tch slap you with. Just kidding, regular slap.

Antisolutions...
These are stuff I SHOULDN'T do:

Option#1: Miss an opportunity
Option#2: Let people be aware of when I fart (suffocate smell or sound!)
Option#3: Make fun of dead babies
Option#4: Endanger lives (including baby lives)
Option#5: Be depressed and or emo
Option#6: Avoid... stuff (like people. Not dangerous stuff, I should avoid that.)
Option#7: Start a band, especially if I'm the singer
Option#8: SLOUCH! BAD FOR BACK! GROW UP, YOU GET BACK PAIN, YOU WALK WITH CANE!! (YOU ALSO RHYME UNINTENTIONALLY!!!)
Option#9: Oh yeah, procrastinate

There's that list.

Okay I'm tired of posts related to the new year. Honestly, if you haven't posted it already, it's too late for the 2008-2009 transition to apply. Cmon, get on the ball. The New Year's ball.

Okay, gotta go graduate!

Take Me Out

Favorite Line: "I DON'T KNOW THIS SONG! I DO- take me out..."

If it's any consolation, I think Paul sings a lot better now. This is an old video.

Happy New Year!